I have been so very tired lately. The busiest part of the year for me seems to be over, but I'm in such a mode of busy-ness (is that a word?), that even though things have slowed down a bit, I walk through my house after the kids have gone to bed and I look for things to do. I can't seem to sit still for long.
My husband is working in TX for 2 weeks and so it's just the kids and I right now. Yesterday, I left work at 4:30, stopped by the grocery store for some grapefruit, bread, apples, and flour, then picked the kids up by 5:15. When we pulled in the driveway, the "I'm hungry"'s began and so afternoon snacks were given. I decided that we were not going to church last night-it's a 20 minute drive one way and by the time we get home it is normally 8:30 or later and I still had to go clean the revenue office...blah...
So I cooked dinner and then went out back to sit on the deck for a few minutes of peace. I sat back in my chair outside and looked around. Everything was still. There was no wind, no movement.
But inside of my head were so many thoughts racing...Loud and Fast. Thoughts like "healthier meals", "exercise", "bills", "hair cuts", "bed-time", "laundry"...I felt overwhelmed.
and then I heard a whisper...
and it was almost audible, but I'm sure it was coming from inside me...
soft...but over-powering everything else...
"Child, you don't have to be perfect. slow down. take a breath."
"Be still, and know that I am God..." (Psalm 46:10)
"...Peace, be still..." (Mark 4:39)
the other thoughts disappeared completely...and I sat back.
I felt relief. My thudding heart slowed a little.
Like, that's all I needed to hear...that I don't have to...I'm allowed to breathe.
I went back in and cleaned up a bit, but then I just laid down beside my kids on the couch...they were watching cartoons and I ended up falling asleep...probably for only 15 minutes or so, but it was refreshing.
We left right after, about 6:45, because like I said, I had to clean the revenue office.
But it was smooth after that. The kids were in bed and asleep by 8:30 and I should have gone to bed too...but I stayed up late, not listening to my body telling me to sleep. (I think that is just a side effect to my husband being gone and me having to sleep alone; I stay up until I literally must go to bed before I pass out.)
He calmed the hurricanes and they stopped
and the waves of the sea were quieted.
My prayer today is that I allow God to calm my fears and my worries...to stop my distractions and my negative thoughts...to quiet my heart and soul so that I can hear Him whisper to me. (I pray this for you also)
It is all too easy to be busy-physically, mentally, emotionally.
Stop and listen for the Comforter, Prince of Peace, the Holy Spirit.
He longs to have our attention and be in conversation with us.
And He alone deserves our time.